My name actually makes me a little uncomfortable... mostly because I have a hard time remembering names and I feel guilty when someone remembers mine :D
When I have done well (which isn't often, think like 4 individual weeks sprinkled throughout my life, so take this with a grain of salt) it has been because I have intentionally said people's names in conversation. Even if I'm not certain what their name is. I just said what I think it is, and if I had no idea, I asked.
Jon Bohlinger
· 2 months ago
Watching Dr. Who.
The character of The Doctor has been written to ask characters for their names and then immediately follow up with a complement using their name.
Doctor: What's your name? Stanley: I'm Stanley. Doctor: You're brilliant Stanley. Absolutely fantastic. Stanley: I will now throw my body in front of invading monsters to defend you and further your cause because you said that.
I realized this is a very powerful way to immediately build rapport because people already like themselves and think their suggestions are valuable. When I use it it also helps me because I build a connection between the individual and their actions. I'm still not great, but I'm getting better at remembering people I imagine to have made a difference.
jeremyvaught
· 2 months ago
This isn't a story, so my apologies about that. This is just what I do because I'm bad with names as well, but like you say, they are powerful.
So to emphasize how bad I am about this, what I do without thinking about it, is I'll hear someone's name, and literally moments later want to use their name, and I can't for the life of me remember. I realized I was just not focusing on retaining that information. So now, I focus on retaining that information. When they say their name, I think, "ooooh, their name, remember that." And then I'll say it in my mind now and then while we talk. I try to use it out loud before they depart. And I always practice on my food servers, this keeps me in practice, and gets me better service. win/win!
All Comments
When I have done well (which isn't often, think like 4 individual weeks sprinkled throughout my life, so take this with a grain of salt) it has been because I have intentionally said people's names in conversation. Even if I'm not certain what their name is. I just said what I think it is, and if I had no idea, I asked.
The character of The Doctor has been written to ask characters for their names and then immediately follow up with a complement using their name.
Doctor: What's your name?
Stanley: I'm Stanley.
Doctor: You're brilliant Stanley. Absolutely fantastic.
Stanley: I will now throw my body in front of invading monsters to defend you and further your cause because you said that.
I realized this is a very powerful way to immediately build rapport because people already like themselves and think their suggestions are valuable. When I use it it also helps me because I build a connection between the individual and their actions. I'm still not great, but I'm getting better at remembering people I imagine to have made a difference.
So to emphasize how bad I am about this, what I do without thinking about it, is I'll hear someone's name, and literally moments later want to use their name, and I can't for the life of me remember. I realized I was just not focusing on retaining that information. So now, I focus on retaining that information. When they say their name, I think, "ooooh, their name, remember that." And then I'll say it in my mind now and then while we talk. I try to use it out loud before they depart. And I always practice on my food servers, this keeps me in practice, and gets me better service. win/win!